On and On We Go, Come Love Take My Hand

Life is waiting for you,

And life I have given to you.

Tell me what else can I do?

What more have I left to prove that I am what you need?

Still I will hold on to your heart 

    through the chaos and the dark

    when your eyes fail to see.

So what are you waiting for?

On and on we go, come love take my hand.

On and on we go, as you run away again.

On and on we go, back to where this all began.

Broken I was for, broken I'm still for you

My broken heart breaks for you, broken I'm over you.

This is the last half of "On and On" by Tenth Avenue North.  I've been trying to think of a way to share with you some of my friends' stories.  Some are serving here in Moldova, some are ministering in other countries, and some are seeking the Lord in the States.  We're all doing different jobs, but we each face struggles and big questions about life.  And the most amazing part is, God is working in each one of us.

In our different places and different ways we have each chosen to embrace the life that Christ offered unto us.  Sometimes, "missionaries" tend to be placed on a pedestal of having complete faith and perfect walks, but as our blogs tell so honestly, we face "the chaos and the dark" too.  The first verse of the song talks about God's faithfulness though "the pain and through your pride."  The mission field, whether that be Brazil or Moldova or Indiana, can be a painful place of hard lessons that break our pride.  Yet our God is so faithful. "The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love." Psalm 103:8

Though we may have had the faith to jump off the side of the boat in pursuit of Jesus, like Peter, our sight fails too.  But our stories are of our broken Savior taking us each by the hand back to that place where we see our own brokenness covered by His grace.  We are each discovering that:

 "Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God.

 Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us,

 but our sufficiency is from God, 

who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, 

not of the letter, but of the Spirit. 

 For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."  

2 Corinthians 3:4-6

Our stories, typed on computers all over the world, are testaments of the message written on our hearts and showed forth in our lives.

 "And you show that you are a letter from Christ delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the Living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 2 Corinthians 3:3 

I hope that through our messages you will be encouraged in your walk with the Lord and reminded that you too are a missionary.  

So where are these stories?  There's now a small section on the right hand side of my page, and there are links to each of the blogs!  A quick intro:

  Amazon Impact - Logan and Elizabeth Bennett are currently serving in Belem, Brazil.   Logan and I met at Charleston Southern.  We had some pretty intense disagreements during out time leading the SIFE team together, but at some point we realized we might actually make decent friends.  Now I consider him my "other brother."  Liz is an amazing girl, truly the helpmeet God designed for Logan, with enough tenacity to keep him in line and enough faith and heart to follow him to Brazil.  Their stories are never dull.  Actually, they're crazy and almost unreal, but they show God's faithfulness over and over and over again.

Life Happens - Amanda is one of my dearest friends from Charleston Southern.  We were roommates my last year in Charleston, and I really don't know what I would have done without her.  She finished school recently and has a heart for kids, especially inner-city kids, missions, music, and the Lord!  She's moved from Charleston to Indiana to get away and see where the Lord is leading her.  One of reasons Amanda is so incredible is that she doesn't hide her heart.  She pours it out honestly with a vulnerability that I envy (in a good way).  So often her posts give words to situations I've been going through too, so I hope some of you find the same challenge and encouragement that I do from Amanda.

Meeting Moldova - Sarah has become a really dear friend to me in Moldova.  We came in on the same flight to Moldova, went through the policlinica experience together, and go to a international fellowship together.  She is a nurse and is serving at a transitional home for trafficked women.  Her blog offers a lot of insight on the challenges of ministering in this culture and presenting the gospel (and health lessons) with grace and delicacy.

Ministering in Moldova - Bethany is practically my neighbor here in Chisinau!  She is attending the Bible school here, as well as working in children's ministry.  She teaches the English lesson during the kids' club that I've started helping with.  Bethany such an inspiration.  She just graduated from high school and decided to come to Moldova before going to college.  Her heart for the people here, her willingness to serve, and her bold faith as she tries to figure out what's next is so precious.  And I admit, it's really nice to have someone younger than me to talk to.  It helps my perspective to be able to encourage her as she thinks about college and that life, while so many of the rest of us are trying to figure out what jobs we should pursue for our careers.

*Bethany has pictures on her blog of the children's club we help with.  Those kids are so great!

The Wee 1 and Me 2 - I don't actually know Dana and Brad personally.  Dana's dad, Dr. Clerico, was one of the professors who went to China with me back in 2008.  Dr. Clerico is one of the most encouraging caring people I know.  He shared a lot of wisdom with me as I tried to figure out where I wanted to go and what to do.  So naturally, Dana is a pretty incredible person.  She and her husband are teaching English in the same city that I studied in, Qingdao.  Dr. Clerico shared their blog with me.  It is really hilarious and challenging all at once.

Thanks for all the prayers!!!

Much Love,

~ Redeemed

Cause if you're not laughing, who is laughing now?

My mind is spinning a little bit, maybe from a long week, maybe from that cup of oh-so-good coffee I'm sipping...

I love that my room has such expansive windows.  The porch lets in so much light, and with the tall evergreen that waves its branches at me every time I look out, my room seems to be half inside and half out.  When the government is slow to adjust the heating for a sudden cold front, the effect is even more realistic.

This week started fast and then seemed to just drag on.  There have been plenty of projects to keep us busy at work.  I like it that way, but it can be frustrating to have to consult multiple people for each project.  Thankfully that wasn't an issue this week.  Working in an international environment is an experience in and of itself.

The hardest part about this week is that sometimes Moldova just sickens us.  Literally.

Honestly, it's really easy to get sick here.  I don't know if it's the weather or the lifestyle or what, but whatever the cause, it's been part of the reality of living here.  There have been weeks where I felt completely drained and exhausted, days where I can't find my voice, and the occasional sore throat and fevers.

My caffeine-fast a few weeks ago was an attempt to conteract the fatigue.  It didn't really help, but I've been really careful to eat lots of fruits and veggies and.....meat.  Yep, I decided I had to overcome my distaste for preparing meats...ick.  At any rate, I've been feeling much better for a week or two, but Brandon has been sick for a week or so now (which is actually what led to us deciding that Moldova makes us sick).  Please pray for health and strength, for me and for Brandon and for the rest of our coworkers too!

Excitement of the past week: there's a new baby in Moldova!!!  My coworker, Alexei, had his third child this week - a healthy little boy!  Alexei and his wife have a two and a half year old girl, a year and three month old boy, and this new precious bundle of joy!  He's already told me that they want to have another girl too. Alexei's story is beautiful.  He shared with Brandon and me during my first couple of months here.  He and his wife wanted to have children, and they even had a plan for how many they wanted, but   they couldn't seem to conceive.  They went to many doctors, and they were told many different things about whether or not they would have children.  So finally, Alexei said he gave this struggle to the Lord.  Through the years that they had been seeing doctor after doctor and told one thing after another, the Lord had been working in Alexei's heart.  His practical plan of having only a couple of children so that he could adequately provide for them, was changed to a faith-filled vision of a home full of children surrounded by lots of love.  Two things stood out to him, he told us.  One was the news clips of parents who lost their only children in the tragedy of 9-11.  The other was looking at Muslim communities.  He said that as Christians we tend to focus on converting non-Christians to build a Christian community. The Muslim communities (and this is how he told us, so I can't back the validity of it, I'm just sharing) have many children and raise a Muslim community.  These two things changed his perspective on a large family.  Not too long after, they were blessed with their daughter.  I've only seen a picture so far of the new baby, but he is a cutie!  We're hoping to see him soon.

We've seen God provide for Invest-Credit!  Our cash balance was very low, as we've entered a high demand season for agricultural loans.  Brandon and I have been working on funding proposals for three different partners, but these proposals weren't going to secure the immediately needed funding.  Thankfully some of our partners came through with a very timely loan, and we are able to continue to serve our customers.   Praise the Lord for His provision!  As you think of us, please pray for His guidance of this organization and continued provision.  We are severely understaffed, and this puts a lot of pressure on the rest of the office and a lot of stress on Ghena.

I'm really excited to be beginning a project involving my alma mater!  My connection to Invest-Credit started with an excellent professor at Charleston Southern.  Now that same professor, along with some of my friends still at CSU, are planning a Walk for Economic Empowerment.  It's just getting started, so check the link from time to time to see how it's going.  Ohio State University will also be holding a Walk for Economic Empowerment.  Both are operating under our partners PEER Servants and have a combined goal of raising $15,000 for Invest-Credit.  I really believe in the importance of economic development, and business as missions is my heart, so I am thrilled to see others getting involved, particularly the students, faculty, and professors at Charleston Southern (GO BUCS!).

Tonight, I'm meeting up with friends from the International Service.  It is always so encouraging, inspiring, and just plain hilarious, spending time with them.  Some of us went out for pizza after church last week.  We quickly lost track of time and rushed out to catch our ruterias.  I've been so blessed to meet these people.  It just amazes me how God brings people into my life!  Ah, I've got more to tell you about my epiphanies on job searching, but I've really got to go get ready!

Much love,

~ Redeemed


Title taken from "The Outsiders" by NeedtoBreathe.  They're one of my favorite groups (hailing from South Carolina too), so check them out!

And It's a Circle, Circling...

Hello friends :)   I know it's been about a week since my last post, and that one didn't really say too much (did you like the pictures?).  To be quite honest, I've haven't known what to say.  Somedays I want to write so many things, but I feel restrained, sometimes by the Holy Spirit (probably keeping me from saying the wrong things or saying too much) and sometimes by my own confusion.

In a lot of ways, I've adjusted to life in Moldova pretty well.  There are still some things though, that I haven't been able to fully grasp yet.  I'm used to squeezing into a rutiera to travel around Chisinau (admittedly, I'm still not very familiar with the other parts of Chisinau) and to walking everywhere I can.  I've gotten used to walking to work in the snow and dealing with limited control of heating, to produce stands spilling their fresh goods onto the sidewalks, to meeting my landlady and having an awkward limited vocabulary conversation every time I need to pay rent, to waiting over half an hour to pay my bills in the post office, to being told one thing about a project only to be told something different a little while later, to taking off my shoes at the door every time I enter anyone's apartment, and even to using a French press to make my coffee each morning.  These examples are outward adjustments though.  The first, most easily made adaptations to a new culture revolve around one's habitat.  The more difficult adjustments revolve around mindsets.

One of the best things that came from my Christmas/New Year's trip to Austria and the Czech was the chance to learn more about the influence of communism throughout Eastern Europe.  Sean and I did quite a bit of touring.  The amount of world history that I studied in grade school and in university grossly minimized the depth of the history here.  The governments here may be younger than my country, but the history of the regions goes back much farther than the United States'.  From Prague Castle to the Communist Museum, the history was laid out before me, particularly the history since World War II.  I hadn't fully grasped the rapid switch some nations dealt with as Nazi Germany withdrew and the Communist Soviet moved in.

 Wave after wave of political turmoil and conqueror regimes washed over Central and Eastern Europe, drastically altering the demographic make-up of a continent.  When the waves receded, they left behind a generation of people humiliated simply for their race, religion, or nationality (sometimes simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time) yet remarkably accustomed to passive forms of subversion.  Why is corruption widespread?  Well, consider that blackmarkets at one point were a key to survival.  Why such secrecy?  Because sometimes it's best not to make a scene.  And those are just major points.

What was really fascinating to me was the history of the other former Soviet states, and how they have developed into the modern nations that they are.  I purchased a book in Prague entitled Cafe Europe.  I read it in two days.  And then I skimmed through it again, underlining and writing notes in it as if there was going to be a test on it the next day.  I did have quite a bit of time to kill waiting in airports, but the book, which was written by a Croatian lady 15 years ago, discusses the social struggles and development  of the former Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (now Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Slovenia, Kosovo),  Romania, Hungary, and the Czech Republic.  This fifteen year old book was pretty accurately describing what I have observed and experienced in Moldova.  Maybe it should have been a source of encouragement that Moldova came grow, but it was more a source of explanation as to why things are the way they are.

It discussed immigration and the stigma that can come with being labelled an "Eastern European,"  the economic struggles that lead to high priced imports and few choices for many goods, and the interesting perspective on customer service (by our standards, customer service is mostly absent).  I devoured the book, because I had finally been given a slight explanation the ever present question, "Why is it like this?"   I'll spare you more details :)  

That was just my vacation....it's been about six weeks since then, and today, once again, I hit mental confusion.  I was updating a business plan for work.  The longer I looked at it, the more confused I became. It just didn't make sense to me.  I mean, I understand what the report said, but I didn't understand why it was laid out this way.  Basically, we had listed many long term goals, yet given very few short-term goals, much less the steps to achieve these goals.   My business sense and my sense of integrity were sensing a lack of necessary information and SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) goals.  The short term goals were listed at the end of the report in vague qualifications.

After puzzling over this for a few minutes, I decided to stop arguing with myself and ask Brandon.  We had a really good discussion on it.  Basically, our mindsets are fundamentally different than those we work with.  Clearly deliberating our short term goals, in our minds as least, would not only reassure our funders of the feasibility of long term goals, but it would also force us to focus on the many small steps that must be taken before a giant leap is made.  But in their eyes, focusing on longterm goals depicts us as visionaries, and gives us more leeway as to how we get there.  This discussion led to more discussion on the differences apparent from a business perspective.   Honestly, it can be incredibly frustrating to work with.  The resistance to change, management styles, and this different perspective of vision and goals can lead to disillusionment and cynicism for those of us coming from a western mindset.  As Brandon proclaimed, "You're at the tipping point, Emily!"  I began to wonder how this will impact my abilities when I leave Eastern Europe.  Will my mindset be backwards?  Will I lose my drive for organizational development and  my understanding of strategic planning?   I don't know.  I'm told this tipping point is the point at which I will begin to distance myself from the work, to understand that this is temporary and may not be where my impact is most strongly felt.  But it's still an experience, and I have 7.5 more months of it!

Side note: I'm learning the importance of "little things" beyond the office and into every area of life.  I'm learning to give God the little things, those concerns, fears, ideas, that can grow into such a big burden I lose sight of the main thing.  And I'm learning to see the beauty in the little things.  God used lots of little things (a small amount of oil, two mites, the Moses' staff, five loaves and two small fish) to show forth His power in great ways.  The way we handle the little things tells us so much more about the big things.

I love the story of George Washington Carver's talks with God.

He said:

    "Years ago, I went into my laboratory and said, 'Dear Creator, please tell me what the universe was made for.'  Said the Creator, 'You want to know too much for such a little mind as yours.  Ask for something your size.'

     Then I asked, 'Dear Creator, tell me what man was made for.' Again the great Creator replied, 'Little one, you are still asking too much.  Bring down the extent of your request.'

     'Tell me then, Creator, what the peanut was made for.'

      'Then the great Creator taught me how to take the peanut aparte and put it together again. And out of this came all these products which the creator taught me to make.'

 (From the book George Washington Carver: God's Ebony Scientist by Basil Miller, Zondervan Publishing House; 1963.) Note, I found this story on Farming Based on the Word of God.  Who knows what I was actually looking for that day....








Post title taken from "Gotta Keep Your Head Up" by Andy Grammer. I love this song!

Give Me Your Eyes For Just One Second, Give Me Your Eyes So I Can See

Ah, it's late here, but I wanted to share some pictures of my city.  Sunday was such a beautiful day, that I just had to get out and enjoy the sunshine.  I took the opportunity to capture some images of the ice and snow, some of the major buildings, the oh-so-common stray dogs, and the typical sights around the apartment buildings.  

This first picture is looking down my street to the main street in Botanica, my region of Chisinau.

The road is clear of snow, but the sidewalk is buried under about an inch of ice.

This is the view back up the street.

The snow was scraped off the walkway directly in front of the floral shops. 

 I mean, we simply must be able to purchase flowers during the winter!

Notice how shiny this pathway is?  Pure ice.  Slick and dangerous.  I do start to worry when I pass babushkas. I want to offer them my arm and help them home.  Of course, I don't know how to explain that in Romanian yet, so instead of confusing, and possibly even scaring them, I usually decide it's best to keep a concerned eye on the elderly while continuing on my way.

A management school, I do believe.

I've decided that I like the snow.  

These roving hounds were kind enough to stop and allow me to take their picture.  I did thank them, but maybe if I had a treat to give them we could've negotiated some quieter nights.....

I love the neighborhood feel of Botanica.  A center region with laundry lines and playgrounds are quite common inbetween apartment complexes.  I even passed a few people grilling out - in January!!!!

Please don't hurt the pipes.  I like my gas stove,  and my hot water, and my radiator...and whatever other utilities these bring....

A really interesting little restaurant that serves traditional Modlovan food.  It has a small museum inside!

I think this is going to be a church.  

This is probably the nicest building in Botanica.  It's not the financial institution I work at, but looks aren't everything. My coworkers are truly wonderful people.

I think this is an art school.  The following two pictures are on either side of the entryway.

A rare but beautiful site.

Sunset :)

Graffiti in English.  Go figure.  Note the "sweet girl" and the "Mtv" inscriptions.

                   

Well what do ya know?  The dump isn't that much different than back home!  

Moldova is just missing the redneck labels.

Another playground....sputnik maybe?

This is a small soccer field near my apartment building.

Why I would rather have mail sent to the office than my apartment.....

Thank you so much for your prayers!  I have been so humbled by some of your notes of encouragement.  I have been so incredibly blessed to see the strength of the body of Christ.  A few friends sent notes this week saying they were praying for me.  Thank you!!  It is so amazing to me and in fact, incredibly humbling, to realize that brothers and sisters in Christ, some of whom I have never met, are interceding on my behalf.  Sometimes this is a really lonely journey, sometimes confusing and difficult as I learn how to wait, how to walk against the flow, truly capable only through the grace of Christ our Lord.  

Your love and prayers are even more precious to me, as my heart is burdened for other friends and acquaintances as well.  This is how the body of Christ should work!  A strong circle of intercessory prayer.  So be encouraged that someone is praying for you too!  

I'm hoping to share some stories of the incredible people here that I've met, along with stories of some of my friends from home and their journeys.  But this week, as you pray, please pray for my roommate Suz.   Pray that her heart will be softened and her eyes opened to her need of the Savior.  

Much much love,

~ Redeemed

Title taken from Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath